Goodbye, my Happy Old Man

With an extremely broken heart and many, many tears, I seem to find myself typing these words once again just two months later. We made another heart wrenching decision last night, as we said goodbye to Zeus, allowing him to run free over the Bridge... no more pain, no more cancer.


Zeus ~ Forever our Happy Old Man
2001 ~ 2015

Zeus was my first fur-kid, my baby (sure, my family had pets while I was growing up, but he was my first baby).  He's been by my side for what feels like forever.  We bought our home, moved in, and less than a month later we brought home a 7 week old sweet baby boy.  From that day forward, he loved us unconditionally and would do anything for his humans. (His Daddy might not love that I posted the pic below right, but it's one of my favorites)

I do realize that Zeus lived a very long life, much longer than ever expected, and am so happy that he was here with us to celebrate his 14th birthday. (Did you see how much he enjoyed that cake?!?!) But, it's still not long enough. My boy endured so many things during those 14 years, more than any one dog should. Even when he was a puppy he went through a spurt of "growing pains" (the vet had a more clinical term for it, but basically he was growing too fast).  I'm not sure if that resulted in his later TPLO surgery and arthritis, but I'd guess so.

 

No matter the health challenge, Zeus faced everything head on, always with a tail wagging and a remarkable attitude.  Seriously, he always wagged his tail at the vet.  He loved Dr. C and his "girls" and would get so excited to see everyone.  He loved that they all knew his name and showered him with attention.  A few months ago, a tech was taking him for blood work and as soon as the door opened, we heard 2 or 3 voices coming from the back "Oh it's Zeus!!!" - "Hi Zeus, you good boy!" - it made my heart melt and we smiled so much. 

Zeus always loved being outside, lounging in the sunshine.  Whether it was in the driveway or on the back porch, if the sun was out, he wanted to be out there... even if it was 35 degrees!

He wasn't such a big fan of rain (ever see a 130-pound dog stand outside and cry because it was sprinkling?), but sure did love romping in the snow.  Before his arthritis slowed him down, he loved to jump and catch snow balls... and jump at the birds flying by.  He also loved to watch for the hot air balloons overhead and would jump and carry on whenever he spotted one.  It all started one day when he was outside, jumping up and down, barking at the sky.  I had no idea why, until I looked up and there they were... 2 hot air balloons.  He spotted them all on his own and was so proud.  After that day, if you said "Zeus, where's the balloon?," he would immediately start looking up at the sky, getting very excited.  I've always wondered if the people in the balloons could see my crazy boy trying so hard to get their attention.  

 

Zeus loved his siblings, and was always such a good big brother to them, as well as the foster babies who passed through our home.  He helped Sophie thru her extreme shyness when she first arrived and she's always looked up to him as her protector.  For awhile, she'd only want to go outside to do her business if he was with her, and he always accompanied her to the vet.  

 

Tut and Zeus were great brothers.  They loved each other, though Tut would sometimes get on Zeus' nerves.  Sometimes little brothers don't understand when you just want to lounge and not run around chasing balls. 

 

Zeus and Lola, who'd been together the longest, had a truly special bond.  I know his heart was shattered when we lost her, just as mine was.  I know he missed her deeply, and I can take some comfort in knowing that my babies are together again.

Zeus had this amazing will to live.  He surprised our vet so much by not only getting thru Vestibular Disease and aspiration pneumonia last August, but another 2 bouts with aspiration pneumonia after that.  After we got thru it, she made sure to let us know how remarkable his recovery was and that she honestly didn't think he'd make it.  She attributed it much to our nursing care and the love we had for Zeus, although I think the love he had for us was just as big, if not bigger, a part.  Our vet, who nicknamed him the "Happy Old Man" a couple years ago, had revised that to be "Stubborn Old Man" when she realized he wasn't giving up on life so easily.  He taught us all so very much about having a great attitude in life...

I am going to miss Zeus' kisses so very much, and that big nose of his.  He always had a way about knowing when you needed a nose nudge and kiss.

I'm going to miss snuggling with him, having him get up on the couch and plop his big 'ole head in my lap.

I'm going to miss giving him a hug -- there is nothing quite like having such a big, solid dog to hug tight.

I'm going to miss asking him if he wanted to go for a R-I-D-E and seeing the pure joy on his face on those days when he got to be my co-pilot.

I'm going to miss him constantly asking me to open up the back door so he could go lounge on the porch... and I'm going to miss going out there to just sit and watch him enjoying life.


I'm going to miss his bark, which he seemed to have lost after his first bout with aspiration pneumonia.  It got so faint and light.  But, when his Grammy and Grampy came to visit on Sunday, he surprised us with some big Zeus barks.

I'm going to miss how happy he got when you said "Grammy and Grampy."


I'm going to miss that smile.

I'm going to miss that tail, which we always said was a lethal weapon, and those welts it left on my legs from happily wagging so hard.  

I'm going to miss those big, big beautiful eyes looking at me... filled with so much love and devotion.   

I will never, ever understand why my boy had to endure this cancer at the end of his life.  Why he was cursed with the pain and sickness, as opposed to just having "old age" issues.  Why he had to be so sick for his last days.  It's not fair.  Cancer sucks and it has surely turned our world upside down this year.  

Rest in Peace, my sweet baby boy.  We love and miss you

more than words can say.  Run free with your sister,
and please keep a watch over us.

Wordless Wednesday: Power of the Paw Please

It is Wordless Wednesday, but we do have a few words to share with you today (and apologize once again for any sporadic blogging or rambling). 

If you follow us on social media, you know Zeus has had some rough days.  We thought we were going to say goodbye a couple of times since Friday, when we found out the mass in his abdomen has gotten larger, he lost a few more pounds, and developed a heart arrhythmia - all in 3 weeks time. Dr. C thinks whatever cancer is inside of him has most likely metastasized to his heart. I'm sure she's right, but I think my boy has a severely broken heart. He and Lola were best buds and have been together for so long. I know he is as devastated as his humans are over the loss of his sweet sister.  We were scared her passing would cause him to lose his amazing will to live.

With that said, we've been on yet another emotional roller coaster ride since Friday.  While we know he is not going to get better, he has had some "better" days.  We think he's got a little bit of fight left in him and ask for your continued crossed paws and good vibes for our happy old man.  I'm honestly not sure how much longer we have, but I'm hoping he has a nice 14th birthday on Saturday.

Now, let's get wordless...



When It Rains, It Pours #PowerofThePaw #CancerSucks

They say when it rains, it pours.  Well, if you live in New England, when it snows, it really friggin' SNOWS.  I feel like we're living in a snow globe and some bratty little kid keeps shaking it with all his might. We're expecting over another foot between Sunday and Tuesday. 

They also say bad things come in 3's... and this is one myth I truly want to debunk! 2015 sure is off to a sucky start around here, and now Zeus is in need of your crossed paws and good vibes once again.

It's no secret that my happy old man has been through more than his fair share of health issues.  It's also no secret that he's surprised everyone with his stubbornness and amazing will to live.  We're one month shy of his 14th birthday and that nasty c-word is at it again.

Zeus had a couple of rough nights with what we thought might have been his mega esophagus over the weekend.  However, after a trip to see Dr. C on Tuesday, she confirmed my fears in that what we were seeing probably wasn't mega-e related, but cancer.  He has a soft tissue sarcoma on his front leg that has grown quite large over the past year and a half.  We never pursued removing it because the risks far outweighed letting it be, and Dr. C never thought we'd reach a point where it would factor into his quality of life.  She now feels that it may be spreading to his lymph nodes, as they seemed a little enlarge.  During the exam, she also felt a mass in his abdomen, and got another vet to take a look as well.  We discussed doing an ultrasound with a specialist, but since the other vet is handy with the low-level ultrasound machine they have in the office, we decided to have her take a look.  She saw what she believes to be a 10-15 cm mass on Zeus' liver, but the machine is now powerful enough to see much more.  We also have no idea whether it is cancer, or a benign growth. 

Have you ever seen a happier sick dog?  He made a new friend at the vet.
She was going on and on about how handsome he was, and when she
asked his name, I said "Zeus" and she replied, "of course it is."

We decided to continue with his current medications, and add in an anti nausea pill.  We also ran blood work, which came back yesterday.  It wasn't much different than what we ran in November and there were no red flags.  His liver levels are still floating around where they have been, his kidney function looks good and there were no signs of anemia.  I suppose that's a good thing, right?  He had two really good days/nights... and then last night, the vomiting was back.  sigh

Now we have to make a decision on whether or not to go ahead and do an ultrasound with a specialist or not.  While it's a non-invasive test, it is a bit pricey and it won't change our treatment options at all.  It would simply be to look for tumors and to tell us what may be going on with him.  Normally, I'd just say yes and run the tests.  However, with what seems to be never ending vet bills over the past year, we had decided to not pursue any tests that would not change our course of treatment going forward.  While I'd eat pb&j three times a day to get my kids what they need, sometimes reality has to take over (and not to mention, my poor Teutul is waiting on a dental procedure and biopsy of a small lump on his leg, which is going to be upwards of $1,000).  So, I'm not sure we've come to a final decision on the ultrasound just yet.  The "normal" blood work was a good sign, but with Zeus back to another night of intermittent vomiting, I'm not sure what's going on.  And, I'm not sure I really want to know. 

Throw Back Friday?  Best Friends: Lola & Zeus 2007
way before autoimmune issues, cancer, mega esophagus & arthritis

Please keep my big guy in your thoughts.  While we know we will be faced with tough decisions with him this year, I'm not ready for this just yet.  The pain and heartbreak of losing Lola is so raw. 

Power of the Paw Request

Please cross your paws and send good vibes.  Zeus is not having a good day at all and I'm well past the worried stage.  We're heading to see Dr. C shortly.....

{This Moment} See Beautiful: Old Dog Is...

TGIF!  I wasn't sure I'd have a post for today, but then I noticed it's a See Beautiful blog hop day and when I read Sugar's entry, I couldn't not participate. 

I agree with Sugar's Mom 150% - "Old Dog is Beautiful" 

Old Dog is also...

Happy.  Just look at that smile on my Happy Old Man, Zeus.  No matter how he's feeling, he always has a tail wag and kiss for his Mommy.

Stunning.  Lola gets compliments on her looks all the time - from strangers at the vet's office, in comments on Instagram, from the lady at the drive-through window...  Everyone seems to find the beauty in those grey eyebrows and aging snout.  

Buoyant.  No matter what's going on around him, Teutul is always full of joy and ready to great you with a smile (not to say that smile isn't a little devious at times - the perpetual baby may be approaching 11, but he's still full of tricks).

Content.  We always joke about Sophie being our little "Observer," but she truly loves to just sit, watch and take it all in.  We're all so busy and always on-the-go or thinking about what needs to be done next.  My little girl reminds me to stop and enjoy life's littlest moments every now and then. 

As the Lapdogs age far more quickly than my heart would like, I try to take a few cues from each 0f them on being happy - smile, be comfortable in your own skin, wag your tail like no one is watching, and slow down and enjoy the beauty around you!

{This Moment} See Beautiful: Happy Old Man

Happy Friday, and Happy 2nd Anniversary to the See Beautiful blog hop! 

{This Moment} See Beautiful is a once a month Blog Hop, every 2nd Friday of the month. simply create a blog post that made your day, week, and/or month … inspiring you in Seeing Beauty.  

Per Sugar's Mom, in honor of the 2nd anniversary, "For every blog participant, we are donating $ to our dear blog friend Goose Medical Fund. This hop is very dear to us. We hope you can join us."  So come on folks, hop along with us today!

My See Beautiful moment was when our vet called Zeus a "Happy Old Man" at his check-up last week.  Evidence was captured above during his R-I-D-E to visit Dr. C... seriously, have you seen a happier looking old man?

Although Zeus would like to think he just visited to give Dr. C kisses, we were actually there to check his liver levels and have her take a look at that growing lump on his right shoulder.  The lump is indeed growing and is "possibly" the C-word, however we will continue to simply monitor it, as the risks of surgery to remove it far outweigh those of just letting it be (the possible type of cancer does not spread).  His liver issues, megaesophagus and reaction to sutures in the past are all red flags for any type of surgery... never mind the fact he's the ripe 'ole age of 13!

Zeus' liver levels came back within the range we've been bouncing around for the past year or two, so we will continue doing what we're doing (samE and milk thistle).  Dr. C noticed one of his kidney levels was ever so slightly elevated, so we did one additional blood test, as well as a urine test to be sure his kidneys were functioning properly... and those both came back well within normal ranges.  Yay for my Happy Old Man!  

Due to some increased stiffness, we did opt to increase his tramadol dosage slightly and that seems to be helping.  I've also adjusted his food to about half as much kibble as he used to get, with additional soft canned food added to help his ongoing megaesophagus issues.  And while he's clearly an old man, Dr. C continues to remind us how remarkable it is for such a big dog to be so happy at 13. We're truly lucky and I cherish every single day with my big boy.

Preventive Healthcare for Pets

Health care in the US is a real hot-button topic these days, but one thing is for certain... preventive care saves lives ... human or canine!

I'm proud to say that I have never missed an annual checkup with any of the Lapdogs.  After all, annual checkups are just as essential as food and love!  I find it absurd that a pet parent would even think of skipping one to save a few bucks or because they're too busy.  Preventive health care helps to ensure your pet leads the happiest, healthiest life possible.

If you've been a follower for awhile, you know that we have been dealing with a variety of health issues within the Lapdog pack as they age (still can't believe all four of my babies are now considered seniors... how did that happen?).  And, sure, several of these issues were not preventable, but so many are. 

We first discovered Zeus' elevated liver levels as during his annual checkup in 2012.  If we hadn't have run his blood work back then and found out, who knows what could have happened.  As a result of this simple preventive measure, we discovered his elevated levels early on, which lead to a few different tests to rule out causes such as Cushing's Disease.  After all was said and done, we never got a clear-cut answer as to why his liver levels were elevated, but we did start him on supplements which not only brought the levels done, but have kept them in check for well over 2 years now.

While the majority of my pet parent friends are responsible, loving pet owners who never miss an annual exam (in fact, many actually visit their vets for semi-annual or even quarterly exams due to their pet's age or health issues), there are so many folks out there who think if their pet is acting normal, they don't need to "bother" with an annual vet visit.  I've heard some people say they're saving money or just don't have the time.... REALLY?  And, yes, I do realize that many of those folks do indeed love their pets.  Perhaps they just have not been educated on the benefits of preventive health care for their fur-kids.  I hope that my post will aid in the education efforts... even if I reach just one of those pet parents, it's all worth it.

While annual vet exams are the first and foremost in preventive health care for our pets, there are several other steps you can take to ensure your dog or cat's healthy lifestyle.

• Vaccinations offer the best protection for many diseases.  
• Monthly heartworm preventative protects your pet from possibly deadly internal parasites.
• Proper nutrition and regular exercise will help your pet maintain a healthy weight and conditioned body.
• Routine grooming gives you a chance to notice anything unusual about your pets' coat - perhaps dry skin, or even ticks. 

Bottom line, if your pet hasn't had an annual check-up for over a year, please call your vet and schedule one today! 

Monday Mischief: Zeus Health Report

It's been a bit over two months since Zeus had a check-up at the vet and I got a cytology report.  While he's mischievously taken to becoming the "doggy vacuum cleaner" (he's literally licking up the lint from our carpets... I am not sure if this is a symptom of his mega esophagus, old age or if our lint has begun to taste like peanut butter), I've mischievously avoided blogging about the "C" word.

See that lump on Zeus' right front leg?  It may be cancer... it may not be. 

I'm actually surprised no one has commented on the lump here or over on Facebook (my sister thought he looked a bit thin in a photo last week, but I honestly think it was just a "thin angle" -- you know, the one all of us humans hope to nail in our selfies?).  This is one of many lumps Zeus has had for years, and we've had the vet do needle aspirations on it a few times before, only to be told the cells looked much like all of his other non-cancerous fatty lumps (my big boy is full of them... he's been quite lumpty-dumpty for most of his life).  However, it has grown considerably over the past year or so.  If you ask me, I think I can see it actually growing inches right in front of my eyes.  Although, I know that's not the case as in mid January the lump was 2" x 2.5" and two weeks ago it was 2.5" x 3" .... so yes, it is indeed growing, but not at the rate I swore to the vet it was.

So, back to the possible "C" word.  Our vet did another needle aspiration of the lump back in January and sent the slide out to the lab.  While the results are inconclusive, we did find out:

The mesenchymal cells have a mild degree of atypia.  These cells could be from a soft tissue sarcoma (such as hemangiopericytoma, fibrosarcoma, or nerve sheath tumor), but they may also be reactive fibroblasts present from fibrosis.

The report goes on to state that it's difficult to differentiate between the two without evaluation of the tissue architecture, and it recommends biopsy and histopathology. 

After weighing the pros and cons, we have decided not to do a biopsy. I'm simply not willing to take the risk of putting Zeus under for the surgery.  While our vet does not think his age is a high risk factor, as I do, she does share my worries for the other factors involved: his liver issues, mega esophagus, and the fact that she was not sure how well the wound would close up on his leg (i.e. a possible lack of skin to cover the incision).  Besides his age, my biggest fear is that he would aspirate or have another issue due to his mega esophagus.  If the lump is indeed a soft tissue sarcoma (aka the "C" word),  she says it is not very likely it would spread to his organs, however it is very likely that it would come back, even if we did remove the lump.  Plus, we had one of those non-cancerous fatty lumps removed when he was a youngster and he had a bad reaction to the sutures.  So, we've opted to watch it.  The vet says it could get rather large and ugly, but she feels we are far more likely to be forced to make decisions down the road from his mega esophagus than from this.  Please keep those paws crossed for my big guy, as I certainly hope I do not have to make any decisions for a long, long time.

Just before I started typing this post, I was downloading photos for a review and came across the pics I snapped of Zeus last week.  He was modeling the latest knit hat I finished (in a Samoyed dog hair yarn blend mind you).  I just can't help but smile and laugh out loud at the above shot.  It's totally my big boy saying "Cancer Schmancer, I got this!"

{This Moment} See Beautiful: Chugging Right Along

TGIF!  It's the first {This Moment} See Beautiful blog hop of 2014 and we're all about positive energy, just like Sugar and her Mom.

Zeus continues to have both good and bad days with his megaesophagus issues.  Thankfully - knock on wood - the good days continue to out number the bad.  It's a lot of work, but I wouldn't have it any other way for my baby.  His joints are giving him a little trouble in these deep freeze temperatures and we have to be careful he doesn't slip on the tile floor when coming into the house on snowy days like today.  I caught this shot of my big guy running back inside after a quick potty trip this morning... I think he's done with the cold and snow for awhile (clearly Tut, on the other hand, was enjoying it).

We'll get Zeus' liver levels checked out next week when he gets to visit Dr. C for his annual check up (boy does he love visiting the girls at the office).  He'll have baby sister Sophie tagging along for her annual visit as well, since my shy little girl likes to have company. 

Lola broke a nail a few days after Christmas, so off we went to see Dr. C and get that fixed up, as well as for a lump check (I swear Lola just does things to get a car ride and "spa" visit).  I took this photo on the way... one would never think she had a bloody nail and was off to the V-E-T's office.  She especially loves the rides in Daddy's truck.

Lola seems to have developed a few more of those mysterious autoimmune related lumps, so we've upped her prednisone dosage again, ever so slightly.  She's now getting 10mg, once a day.  Hopefully this takes care of the buggers that have popped up, as well as keeps any additional lumps at bay.  It seems as though my girl just may be staying on a low dose of prednisone life long after all...

And then there's Tut... who just enjoys being his annoying little self.  I was almost late to work this morning because he didn't want to come in out of the snow.  Does he look guilty, snow nose and all?

Enjoy your Friday and have a wonderful weekend... and keep those positive thoughts flowing!

Monday Mischief: Mega What?

Happy Monday!  First of all, thank you to everyone who has asked about Zeus' trip to the vet on Thursday.  He was quite the happy little big camper when he found out we were going for and R-I-D-E...

My big guy's "old man hack" had been getting worse and more frequent, so it was time to go in for chest x-rays.  We had one done last year that didn't show much.  Since then we had been trying to treat it with Pepcid once a day, plus we had also gone back to feeding twice a day, started adding some water to his food, and purchased an elevated dish.

We arrived a little early and spent some time people watching in the waiting room.  When the tech came out to get Zeus for his x-rays, he did something he's never done before at the vet's office... he put all 4 brakes on... hard.  He just wasn't interested in going back there, but with a little persuasion from Mommy, off he went.

After the x-rays were complete (btw, our vet's office has a nifty new digital x-ray machine that produces some stellar images), it was off to the exam room where we waited for Dr. C...

I knew something was up as soon as she came into the room (never mind I had noticed they took blood while he was back there for the x-rays, which isn't typical). I'll admit, my heart sank and I knew for sure she was going to tell me she saw a tumor somewhere inside my big guy.  While the the x-rays did indeed show something, it was not a tumor.... it was his esophagus.  It's supposed to look like a thin pencil line, but Zeus' is very enlarged.  She said my boy has megaesophagus. Mega-what, you ask?  If you are interested in learning more, check out this article which is one of the ones Dr. C printed out for us before we left the office.

There are various tests we can do to figure out the underlying cause, however the majority of megaesophagus caes are idiopathic - meaning there is no underlying cause (which seems to be our trend for both Zeus and Lola's issues).  Patients are usually 5 to 12 years old (check) and a large breed dog (check).  Some causes include Cushing's Disease (which we tested for in March, 2012 when his liver levels were elevated - it came back negative), Thyroid Disease (which is why she took his blood on Thursday... the test came back normal) and Myasthenia Gravis.  The test for Myasthenia Gravis is pricey and our vet indicated she's never had one come back positive.  We skipped it on Thursday while we waited for the other blood work to come back, but now we will need to make a decision about going forward with this test.  Not having funds in your back pocket really stinks...  

The blood test also ruled out aspiration pneumonia at this time, however apparently this is common with megaesophagus cases.  Great...

So.. we have upped the Pepcid to twice a day and added Metoclopramide 2 - 3 times a day. Additionally, we now have to keep Zeus sitting upright for 10 - 15 minutes after eating, which for a 119 pound dog with arthritis is quite the task.  We had a fight the first time... a little the second... now we're getting much better at it, however my big guy really just wants to lay down after he eats.     

Oy... if it's not one thing, it's another.