Blogiversary!

Could it really be?

2 years and 310 posts later... I've come a long, long way in the blogging (and knitting!) world since June 15, 2006!

Thank you to everyone who comes back to read about my crazy, multi-tasking ways... yes, even those of you who only come for the doggy pictures! I will soon be expanding my content to include the book & product reviews I mentioned about a month ago... look for the first one this week (combined with a mini contest)!

In honor of my 2 year blogiversary and my hopefullness of raising $1,000 for the ASPCA, I have a little contest. Well, its not even a contest per say, since everyone who wishes to take part will win! Anyone who donates a minimum of $15 to my ASPCA fundraising goals (you must click thru the ASPCA fundraiser banner at the top of my blog, then leave a comment her indicating you donated & with a way to contact you) will receive a free Lapdog Creations Stitch Marker! Its just my little way of thanking you for helping out animals in need (and don't forget, your donation is 100% tax deductible!). While you can donate at any time (the donation banner has been on my blog for quite some time now), the deadline for the free stitch marker offer is July 4th (my first rescue baby's 6th birthday).

Dog Days of Summer

We are just coming off of one miserable, icky, sticky, nasty heat wave here... dog days of summer would be an understatement for the past 4 days, especially since I've been out working in it. Instead of beeing cooped up in my nice air conditioned office, I've been on site working on a new condo model... moving stuff from one building to another, shopping, putting it all together and well, sweating up a stinky storm... ugh.

I'm also still playing catch up with everything... here is another FO, which I actually completed a couple weeks ago for donation at the Granite State Knit In... the teddy bear sweater!

Since it is Dogs on Thursday, I wanted to share this weird little story (with a happy ending!) that I got in my email box this week.... Dog Survives Toto Impression During Tornado! Chase is one lucky - and quite handsome - doggy!

I also wanted to share with everyone that my little girl Sophie is in the spotlight over at the Planet Dog blog! Check her out here! Planet Dog has an awesome Kiss Me I'm Adopted program where anyone who's adopted a cat or dog can get a great little kit!

I'll leave you with some quick pictures of the kids ...

Sophie watching out the window... {click names for more pics}

Teutul joined in (please ignore the "artwork" created on the window sill by our children and the section of wall that Daddy still needs to patch thanks to the couch that used to sit there.... )

Then Lola... you see, the window "box seat" is a prime spot in our house.. we have 4 very nosey watch dogs children....

Since we hadn't yet put away luggage from vacation, there wasn't much room for Zeus to cram in to. Besides, he'd much rather spend his time watching things from outside anyway... or maybe hanging out with Mommy?

Enjoy the rest of your day and remember.. it is almost Friday!!!!!!!

The End...

Weekend Wrap Up...

Once again, congratulations to all of my contest winners! Prizes went out this morning and I hope you will enjoy them!

It was a cold & rainy weekend around New England. I spent Saturday night at Fenway (first time back to a game in about 4 years now) and it felt more like fall football weather! (excuse the "little people" photos... I didn't bring the camera due to the weather, these are cell phone pics)

I soon remembered why I'm much more of an action packed sports girl (translation: NASCAR, football and hockey)... baseball is pretty slow & boring to me! Don't get me wrong, this Boston girl will always root for her Red Sox (and I do enjoy catching a game in person every now and then), but if given the choice (especially with the need to sell your first born to get a ticket enormous ticket prices), I'd rather quinch my need for speed, see some good checks (fight, fight, fight!) or see the Brady bunch....

I don't want to get too much in to the weekend tragedy,and I don't know much about horses, but I do know that no animal should be run so hard they break both of their front ankles!!!! I've heard several takes on the story and understand Eight Belles was just 2 years old. Apparently, horses should not be raced until at least 4 years of age. There's also been lots of genetic crapola going on to produce the "fastest and strongest" horses... all in the name of greed for the all mighty dollar - ugh!!! Personally, I think if you want to run a race, then use your own 2 feet or an inanimate object, such as a car, boat or motorcycle. Rest in Peace Eight Belles...

On that note, did you know that it is Be Kind to Animals Week? Please click on over and learn what you can do, including teaching children....

Reminder... sign ups are now open for the Multitasking 9-5 group swap over on Ravlery!

Now I even have some actual knitting content to leave you with today! I'm working away on the Criss-Cross scarf for my ISE6 pal. I'm loving the way the Patons SWS is working up in this pattern...

After realizing that there was no way the pokey, always wanting to cast on something new, 'ole me I'd ever finish the Oriel Lace scarf for my pal in time for the deadline, I switched to this pattern and am glad I did. My pal loves winter colors and she lives in a cold winter climate, so I'm hoping this will be a perfect fit for her. I'm starting to think these scarves will also be in a few Christmas presents this year as well...

I'm still Clapping away, but am thisclosetobeingfinished!!! No updated pics, but it will be done in time to wear to the NH Sheep and Wool festival this weekend (so long as weather is appropriate for wearing) and I will get finished photos then! I spent yesterday working on the decrease rounds...

I'm about half way done with my first teddy bear sweater for the Granite State Knit-In donations. They collect "dressed" stuffed aniamls of all sorts, which are then donated to the NH State Troopers for their program (all troopers have a couple in their trunks to provide as needed to children). I plan to get at least a couple made...

Well, that's all folks... enjoy the rest of your Cinco de Mayo!

And The Doggy Goes To...

Thank you to everyone who entered my contest in honor of ASPCA and for all the wonderful things you did to help animals in need and to spread the awareness! Thank you also to my wonderful crafty circle of friends who donated some fantastic prizes to the cause as well! Please be sure to click through to their Etsy shops where you'll find some wonderful products!

The bag of entries looked like this (great use of a knitting bag without current project!)...

And the winners were drawn..., so now... the moment you've all been waiting for! Please note these prize groupings are in no particular order and I was able to put together 8 different prize groupings. Included with each prize pack is an orange ASPCA wrist band.

Neck Rice Roll & Ice Pack from Blume's Accessories
goes to blogless Marlene!

Handknit Paw Print Scarf by Chan &

Purple Paw Awareness Pin goes to Mary!

Go Green Shopper Tote from Seacost Baby &
Stitch Marker Holder from Blume's Accessories
goes to Dianne!

Oversided Wallet (notions bag) from

Seacoast Baby & Doggy Tape Measure

from Yarndemon Designs goes to Paula!

Doggy Sock It Bag from Gypsy Knits, Doggy
Bandana from Seacoast Baby & Trekking
Sock Yarn from Criquette (not pictured) goes to Natalie!

Oversided Wallet (notions bag) from

Seacoast Baby, ASPCA t-shirt & Animal

Rescue Candle goes to Jessi!

Oversided Wallet (notions bag) & Doggy
Bandana from Seacoast Baby goes to Kenyetta!

Oversided Wallet (notions bag) from

Seacoast Baby & Kitchener Dog Tag goes to Anita!

Congratulations to all of the winners! I really hope everyone enjoys their prizes!

Go Orange!

Happy ASPCA Day (which just so happens to nicely fall on Dogs on Thursday)! If you're not quite sure how to celebrate, here is a list of 10 easy ways. Of course, I hope you will also enter my contest! There are several (and easy!) ways to enter and some wonderful prizes to be claimed, thanks to many of my amazing crafty pals! You have until April 25 to enter.

Before I get in to the usual doggy photos for today, I wanted to show you what I found this morning... my crocuses have finally opened up! Yesterday and today feel like spring... yeah! (even if I now have the sinus pressure, sneezy, headachey spring...) They are calling for the temps to drop again and showers all weekend... one weather idiot guy even mentioned that S word...

Back to the dogs... I unearthed some of their toys from the black hole underneath the couch the other day and found Mr. Sheepie. I don't think Sophie had met Mr. Sheepie before (that tells you how long he's been in the black hole, huh?), however she's really taken a shining to him. He's her new favorite buddy and has been carrying him all around the house with her. The girl's got good fiberly taste, no?

With my contest post last Thursday, I left you all hanging without the usual 1001 doggy pics, so here's a little catch up ... enjoy the rest of your day!

I'm still working on getting that perfect 4 doggy shot (why was 3 so much easier?) {as always, links have more pics}

Sophie being uncooperative...

Sophie doing her best Elvis Snarl...

Sophie's gone again (do you sense a theme here... now I know why 3 was easier!)

We've been attacked had plenty of birdie watching (and chasing) going on in the past couple weeks.

The pesky creatures sure held Tut's undivided attention and he got that "nose to the camera" thing going on again...

Zeus waking up from a nap... "did someone say BIRDIES??!!"

Speaking of napping... Lola & Sophie, still showing that sisterly love is the best (and should not be disturbed!).

Kenyetta was who I got to spoil in the DOT Spring Swap and I'm happy to see that the basket arrived in one piece and that she, Diamond & Snoop enjoyed it all. I had so much fun putting this swap package together and can't wait for another doggy swap!

On a sad note, please hop on over and send Mary some good vibes. She's had a terrible week with loosing both Storm and Electra. {{{hugs}}}

Contest in honor of ASPCA Day

It is contest time again here at Lapdog Creations!

You all should certainly know by now know my great love of dogs and dedication to dog rescues & welfare organizations... so in honor of ASPCA Day on April 10, I am holding this contest with several 2 and 4-legged ways for you to enter {although you certainly do not have to be a dog lover gasp, did I really just say that? or owner to enter although who in their right mind does not love a dog?}

OK, let's get down to the knitty gritty woofiness of it all...

Ways to Enter

1) Donate to the ASPCA by clicking thru the "Help Me Fight Animal Cruelty" fundraiser button at the top of my blog. {Please note this is the only way for your donation to count towards my fundraising goals, therefore you must click thru this link for your donation to count in the contest} I'm still trying hard to reach my goal of $1,000... if you donated last year, now's the time to get in your tax deductable donation for 2008! The button will bring you to the ASPCA's secure website to make your donation and/or become a member. Once you have donated, please either leave a comment here noting the donation amount or if you prefer, email me at LapdogCreations at AOL dot COM with your name & donation amount. and remember, every bit counts... whether you are able to give $5, $20 or $50 to help, it all is appreciated by these wonderful animals!

You will earn 5 entries for making a donation!

2) Go Orange! On Thursday, April 10, folks all over the country will be going orange to celebrate the ASPCA’s victories on behalf of animals & the joy they bring to pet parents. Dress yourself, your kids, even your pet in ASPCA orange and show the world you support the ASPCA & the pets we protect. Post a photo of you or your kids (human or otherwise) on your blog on Thurs, April 10th wearing your orange or any other ASPCA gear, then leave a comment with a direct link here.

You will receive 3 entries for Going Orange on April 10th!

3) Adopt or Foster! If you've adopted or fostered a furry friend since Jan 1, 2008, email me at LapdogCreations at AOL dot COM with your name, photo and/or link to your blog of your adopted/fostered furbaby, as well as when & where you adopted from/fostered for and a few sentences about your experience.

You will earn 5 entries if you've adopted/fostered since Jan 1st!

4) Knit, crochet or sew Snuggles. You may choose the rescue/shelter where you would like to donate them (if you need suggestions, let me know). The only requirement is to email me at LapdogCreations at AOL dot COM with your name, photo of the snuggle(s) and where you chose to donate them to.

You will earn 3 entries for each snuggle you make!

5) Post - the easiest way to enter! Post a link to this contest on your blog and spread the word about ASPCA Day, helping homeless animals, etc! To receive an entry, you must leave a comment here, along with a direct link to your blog post. If you comment without a link, it won't count.

You will earn 1 entry for posting the link on your blog & commenting here!

The contest deadline is April 25th. This gives those who choose to make snuggles some time. You may enter in any or all of the ways listed - the more things you do, the more entries you receive! All entries will be placed in to a bag and winners drawn. I will also have one or two special category prizes (to be determined, I sense a "most creative go orange photo" and possibly something such as best adoption story or cutest furbaby).

Prizes

There will be several prizes, many of which are being so graciously donated by my circle of crafty friends. At this time prizes are set to include a doggy tape measure from Anita at Yarndemon Designs; a soothing heat therapy bag, healing ice pack and stitch marker holder from Mary at Blumes Accessories; oversized wallets (which make great notions bags!) and a Go Green grocery shopping tote from Jenn at Seacoast Baby; as well as some yet to be announced yummy yarn prizes & doggy items.

Please check out these talented ladies' etsy shops (all are linked)!! What the girls don't know is that by being so wonderful & caring for the cause, they've each already earned an entry in to the contest! If you'd like to donate anything, please contact asap.

Happy Dogs on Thursday and I hope you have fun with the contest!

Go Oprah!

Reposting from Best Friends Aniaml Society with my comments in red...

Maybe it was the billboard strategically (genius!) placed near Oprah’s studio in Chicago, maybe it was one of the petitions, or maybe awareness about the issue is finally becoming a reality (thankfully!). This Friday, puppy mills will make it even further into the limelight. It’s one thing for a news station to do a show on the commercial pet breeding industry, but when Oprah’s talking about it—well, maybe pet stores and the breeders who supply them will see a difference in the demand.

Friday, April 4th Click here for show times

But the real thanks goes to Main Line Animal Rescue in Pennsylvania. The rescue is known for not only their work in rescuing animals, but also their fantastic, edgy billboards. They pictured a Beagle in a dishwasher to show USDA cage sizes, they placed a billboard to welcome families to "Scenic Lancaster County—home to hundreds of puppy mills" (now that's my kind of rescue... with beautiful, caring, creative minds)

And they plunked a billboard right near Oprah’s studio, plainly asking her to tape a show about puppy mills.
Let’s help the Oprah show have the biggest impact possible!

Actions you can take before the show...

~ Get as many potential puppy buyers as possible to tune in to Oprah’s show—target people who may not know about puppy mills and/or may be shopping for a puppy. {and don't forget to encourage them to ADOPT - NOT SHOP!}

~ Take advantage of free classifieds by placing as many ads as possible (Craigs List, local news boards, etc) - or better yet, cross post this to your blog!

More information about puppy mills...

~What can one person do to stop puppy mills? Click here for a downloadable PDF.

~What is a puppy mill? What are the "red flags" that help identify them? Click here for a downloadable PDF.

Go Lady O! Go Best Friends Animal Society! Go Main Line Animal Rescue!!!! Please repost to your blog and spread the world...

Snow, Dogs, Sick and more SNOW...

Greetings from sickville and Happy Yappy Thursday. Teutul's been keeping an eye on all the snow...

As mentioned a few posts back, for those of you who might not have been following Operation Bring Charlie Home, he is Home! There is a great video from CNN here - Operation Baghdad Pups that is a must watch and so perfect for a Dogs on Thursday post. Enjoy! Sophie was very intrigued by the video and thinks all doggies need to find a loving home (and a nice blankie wouldn't hurt)...

So yes, I'm still sick. I'm no where near as bad as I was over the weekend (feeling like my ass was kicked by a mac truck), but I'm still sinusy and coughing.... and tired. I've been really worn out and going to bed quite early. As a result, no knitting has taken place in over a week! Zeus thinks Mommy should just stay home from work and hang out on the couch...

I had taken last Friday off to venture West with Joanne. We had great plans to hit the Peterboro Basket tent sale, stop by her friend's mill for a tour and check out a yarn shop in Keene. Sadly, we didn't make it to any of those stops thanks to the daily dumping of crappy white stuff snow and me being sick. Instead we opted for a short trip to Hub Mills, which turned out to be not so much on the short side. I think we left Joanne's around 10:00 am and I didn't get home until almost 5:00 pm. The driving was slow going with the snow, plus we had a little unexpected detour, then we stopped for dog food and I stopped to buy out CVS' cough medicine aisle on the way home. Despite being sick, it was fun! We both scored some good deals at Hub - Joanne found some beautiful chunky yarn for her vest (which I wouldn't doubt is done by now), among other things. I found yarn for a felted bag (gift for a friend), knitted bunny (birthday gift), socks and more. Of course, our timing was slighly off as they were starting their winter sale on Tuesday - 20% off all yarn and sample sweaters! Oh well... better luck hitting the sale next time, right?

So back to that wretched white stuff that just won't end. Just what the hell is it with all the snow this winter??!! Neverending is beginning to sound like an understatement, as it seems to fall on a daily basis lately. I never even saw snow in the forcast for yesterday, yet we got another 4" or so overnight. Enough to have to snowblow the driveway and clean off the cars before work... but the assanine town/state decided they didn't need to plow, so the roads were a sloshy mess this morning. Oh the joys of New England winters! Lola has smartly settled in for a long winter's nap once again...

Enjoy the rest of your day... and oh yea, we're supposed to get hit with another storm tomorrow night. They're saying "about 3 - 7 inches, but we really don't know yet..." Oh the joys... but at least I think I finally got a half way decent shot with Miss Sophie...

Please remember to grab my new button (over on my sidebar or scroll down a post or two) if you haven't already!

Happy Spay Day!

Its Spay Day in the USA!
Check out this video with Ryan Newman....

Don't forget to spay & neutur your pets... and please remember to vote for our kids in the HSUS Spay Day photo contest (links at top of the blog)!

Clap On.... Fetch Off!

FO ALERT!!! I finally got my Fetching mitts off the needles yesterday! For those of you non-Ravlers, I used 1 strand each of Zitron Ecco & Heirloom Alpaca held together, which made for a very dense, soft fabric that I'm sure is going to be quite warm! Some pics... first a couple from the second mitt in progress during my snow/ice day last week...


Coffee, Rachael Ray and knitting... what could be better? Now for the finished product...

With Fetching off the needles, I cast on my Clapotis for the Fashionably Late in '08 KAL (have you signed up yet???). Nothing really much to see here just yet, but its a start. You can see the yarn (SWTC Amerah in Vineyard colorway) I chose and my new Peace Fleece needles (I needed some new size 8's and I just love these needles... what better excuse?).

Of course, I didn't need to cast on yet another wip, as I still have plenty, but since I did sign up for the KAL. Speaking of wip's, I picked up my Cabin Fever tank a couple weeks ago for some Wednesday night knitting. I'm still in the never ending ribbing from hell section... not too exciting.

Then there's the Loopy Ewe Celebratory Socks...

There's plenty more of UFO's stashed all around my living room, but that's it for photographic evidence today (I've had a slight case of startitis again). Instead, I'll share with you another FO, just of a different crafty variety. I took a beading class at A Knitter's Garden on Saturday and made this gorgeous set...

You like? I'm wearing it today... Not only was it a fun class, it was a great Saturday afternoon spent with wonderful ladies, yummy food, good coffee and beading! Of course I couldn't hit AKG in a shopping mood without picking up a few new things (including those Peace Fleece needles above)... Wanna see something yummy??!! When Joanne had her girls shorn last year, she got their fleece spun into some fantastic yarn that she is now sharing!

On the left is the 80/20 mix of Josie (jacob sheep) and Bonnie & Gracie (angora bunnies) ... and on the right is 100% Harriet (shetland sheep). Aren't her girls gorgeous? She has a limited supply available at the shop and is planning to have more spun later this spring after their next shearing. I already have a fun project in mind for my yarn, but will keep it to myself until I get started... hee hee!

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday... and thank you to everyone who has voted for the dogs in the Spay Day photo contest! Please keep the votes coming (you can vote using as many different email addresses as you have/know)! I just downloaded a bunch of new photos of them, but will share later... in the meantime, Charlie is Home!!! I've been following Operation Bring Charlie Home for some time now and could not be happier for Charlie and Sgt Watson - please read the article (the first link)!

Congrats Ryan!

Congratulations to Ryan Newman for winning the Daytona 500 yesterday!

While I surely would have loved to have seen Tony win, I'm also a huge Ryan fan & supporter! Ryan & his wife Krissie run a fantastic foundation that supports something near and dear to my heart - homeless animals! They are truly down to earth, class acts and so deserving of such a great start to the 2008 season! Congratulations!

Another Award...

Wow, its like the Emmys this week! I just found out that Rhonda over at I'm Running to Win Two gave me the You Rock the Crib and Loveable Blog awards!

Thank you Rhonda... its so nice to be loved! Now, I'm passing this Loveable Blog award on to all the same ladies I passed the You Rock one on to yesterday.... as well as to anyone else reading my blog!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled Dogs on Thursday (see today's earlier post)... and wanted to ask you to please visit the Best Friends Animal Society website. They've been doing lots of wonderful things for animals who would more often than not, be put down otherwise. They have a special dog area called Dog Town and actually have an awesome documentary show on National Geographic channel now as well. If you're a dog lover/parent and have not seen this show yet, you must check it out! It is on Friday nights at 9pm and then usually repeats over the weekend. Amazing reality tv... although I will admit to having tears rolling down my eyes at the end of the episode from last weekend when one of the volunteers was seeing Wiggles, a cute little bulldog, off to his new forever home. Having fostered so many wonderful babies this past year, I could totally relate and feel all of the same emotions (love, joy, pain, heartbreak, satisfaction....) that volunteer was feeling....

A Place To Bark needs your help!

You may remember me talking about A Place to Bark before and the amazing woman named Bernie who saves soooooooo many dogs. I've posted about her various fundraisers and such in the past and now is the time to really take action! Bernie is particpating in "Take the Challenge. Change the World." fundraising challenge. Six Degrees has partnered with the Case Foundation to invite you to take America's Giving Challenge sponsored by Parade. It's your chance to get $50,000 for your favorite charity. How It Works: The four charity badges with the most unique donations through America's Giving Challenge will get $50,000 for their cause. America's Giving Challenge runs until January 31st.

This means that if A Place to Bark is top 4 in the number of unique donations received (not the amount of the donations!), they will get a $50,000 grant... $50,000 to A Place to Bark means that Bernie could finally build the shelter that she, and all the amazing dogs she rescues, so desperately needs and deserves. All you have to do is donate... as little as $10! That's less than the cost of a week's worth of morning coffee. Will you find it in your heart to help? Just click thru here or go to Bernie's blog and click thru the badge!

Dear Sweet Eddie...

Heavy hearts today as I've just learned about the tragic passing of my dear friend Jenn's beloved Eddie. Please keep the family and Eddie in your thoughts and prayers, as he crossed over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. I hope Jenn doesn't mind, but I wanted to copy and paste part of her email here for all my fellow doggy parents to read and keep in mind. This is very, very scary... and so tragic.

Jenn's own words, edited for blog...

On Christmas night around 9:00, I gave him a 'special treat' and within 45 minutes he was acting weird & sick. We chalked it up to him just getting a tummy ache from it and it not agreeing with him. Turns out, it caused massive bloat and then his stomach twisted, otherwise known as "canine torsion'. He was completely fine until I gave him that and then boom! a sick dog he was. At 6:30 am he made this moan and we knew it had to be more than stomach upset. Off to the vet we went. They did xrays and found that his stomach had 'turned' but not twisted, and said we got there just in the nick if time. They drained his stomach and all this gunk came out including chunks of the treat--which by the way was supposedly 100%natural, digestible, wholesome etc.. and it was from Trader Joes, made in the USA. The vet said we were not totally out of the woods, but thought he would be ok, he just needed to be observed for 24 hours because once a dog has bloat, their stomachs can twist. So....off to the emergency clinic in we went. They took him in and did more xrays, and found that on the ride there his stomach did in fact twist. Our options came down to emergency surgery with only a 5% chance of success and most likely a re-occurrence of torsion again, along with a long rehabilitation and other problems associated with it. So, we did the most painful thing and had to put him to sleep. Oh my God....it seriously was one of the worst days of my life. Big breed dogs are particularly prone to this. Some signs are lethargy, lots of drool, or laying with front paws drawn inward. There are many things that can cause it and our vet seems to think that there was something in this treat. He also said that since the symptoms mimic just stomach upset most often dogs will die right in their homes because owners are unaware. scary. Also, you might want to feel your dog's abdomen and belly area now, so that if anything like this happens you'll be able to notice any bloat for comparison. Heres a link so you can read about it-- if I had only know about this bloat stuff before.

Also, for those interested in what the treat was, Jenn said it was a beef stick, NOT rawhide. A 100% natural, digestible treat that was twisted and kind of looked like a pigs ear does. They contacted Trader Joes and the maker of the treat. Trader Joes in Tynsgsboro, MA said they went out and pulled them from the shelf, so hopefully the manager really did pull them.

My heart aches for Jenn and her family... and for dear sweet Eddie. He will surely be missed, but I can only take comfort in hoping that he found his sweet little sister Shanie waiting for him when he crossed the Rainbow Bridge...

Things That Make You Say Hmm..

Rescuer's Answering Machine Message

Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.

Press 5 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.

Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.

Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 11 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old, unneutured, aggressive dog.

Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today and pick up the dog you no longer want.

Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.

Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work.

Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.

Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because we can't get to your house in the next hour.

Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the animals in care of one trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

Press 19 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have an abundance of.

Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.

Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.

Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.