I miss you.
Never, ever did I expect that when we celebrated your 12th birthday last year, it would be your last. It's not fair.
Never, ever did I expect that you attended your last cookout at Grammy & Grampy's house on the 5th last year (moved due to a rainy 4th).
Never, ever did I expect that we weren't going to have a wonderful summer of adventures.
Saying I miss you is an understatement... I miss you every. single. day.
I miss your smile.
I miss your eyes, always so full of joy and curiosity.
I miss your kisses. You always knew when Mommy needed one, even when you were in immense pain yourself.
I miss your snuggles. Even at 90 pounds, you were always Mommy's Baby Girl and such a sweet, cuddly lapdog.
I miss you greeting me at the door when I get home... always with a toy in your mouth.
I miss you sticking your head inside whatever bag I might have brought home. I know you were always hoping to help yourself to a yogurt container.
I miss you politely stealing cherry tomatoes off the vine.
I miss your bark.
I miss you running to get into the bathroom ahead of me every morning... knowing you had trained Mommy to give you a treat to "bribe" you out of the bathroom so I could shower.
I miss laughing so loud each time you chased your Daddy's feet, or wedged yourself between his legs with that big 'ole grin on your face.
I miss you Baby Girl. My heart is shattered. The holes left from losing both you and Zeus will never be refilled. The tears still flow, and I still get very angry over what you had to go through. Bone cancer is a horrendous disease and it kills me that we were unable to save you. To see the joy ripped from your eyes was one of the worst things I've ever been through. It killed me to let you go, to say goodbye... but I know we did the right thing. We set you free from the pain.
We all miss you so very much. Zeus was completely lost without you and as hard as it was, we knew it was time to let him go and find you. I can take some comfort in knowing the two of you - my babies - are together again, but I'd do anything to have you both here with us today... eating cake and watching the "boomers" light up the sky.
Thank you both for sending Penny to us. She has taken on so many of your wonderful traits and is growing into quite the little lady. Penny loves to cuddle and is full of kisses -- two things your Mommy really needed. She truly reminds me of you in so many ways, and I know you sent her to us for a reason.
When Sophie first came to live with us, she stuck to your like glue. You taught her confidence and so much more.... and I hope you'll be happy to know she is now doing the same for little Penny. I can't help but shed a few tears of joy watching the two of them together, just as I had you and Sophie so many years ago.
Teutul misses his big sister and brother so very much, as we all do. We can't help but notice how much he has aged since you left us... you can see it in his face. Please keep an eye on him and keep him safe for us.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
I love - and miss - you more than words can say.